A few weeks ago, I decided it was time to speak up for myself in a situation that had plagued me with, what I now know is, shame, for years.
A string of events led me to the moment when I decided enough was enough. I thought through my feelings, crafted my message, and rehearsed what I needed to say, so as to not get off track or use hurtful words unintentionally.
As I began to speak, my voice shook. To the individuals I was addressing I sounded forward and unkind because these individuals are so used to my people-pleasing nature that voicing my needs was simply a shock.
The response I received was as I expected. I was made to feel SHAMEFUL for setting boundaries.
It’s taken me a while to unpack my thoughts on this experience. As I’ve worked through this feeling, I’ve had to understand that nothing I wanted, did, or said was wrong. It simply wasn’t what the other party wanted.
What is the difference between guilt and shame?
Guilt is feeling bad about something you’ve done. Guilt recognizes wrong and can lead to a positive change.
Shame is feeling bad about who YOU are because of how someone else makes you feel. Shame is an unnecessary feeling- IF you can remind yourself of your worthiness.
I no longer feel that shame. I now know that I’m worthy of my own wants and needs.
Whoever needs to hear this, YOU ARE WORTHY. You are worthy of love without strings. You are worthy of acceptance without changing who you are.
Go easy on yourself friends. Grow. Unapologetically, grow. YOU ARE WORTHY.
